From: HR (Heart Resources) · Ref: VAL-2026 💗

Offer Letter: Official Valentine

Dear Candidate,

After a thorough review of your qualifications (your love), I'm thrilled to offer you the role of Official Valentine at Shane Heartquarters Inc.

Confidentiality: Acceptance confirms you are now the CEO of my heart.
Termination clause: Not applicable. We’re in it for the plot.

Tip: the “No” option is currently being routed to the “nice try” department.